cant seem to find the words to describe my
feelings right now.
well, school is getting more stressful.
workloads more, i dont understand how to draw
graphs in linear matrix inequalities nor
figure out whether coordinate bonds belong to
a dot and cross N2O4, nor the fact that i have
eyebags. even with seven hours of sleep.


thank God for my church.
talked and got tutored in math by Dexter.
studied with sam teo.
played the piano with shu yi and talked with
johnathan abt his dreams of SOW piano.
hahahas isnt my church great?
and i dont even really know this people.
but hey- thats HoGc.

how many words can i use to describe the
emotions of utter exhaustion i feel right now?
i wonderr.

i folded a toilet paper heart.
its very pretty and it has five sentences on it.
and school was numbing today- felt like you re
being so crammed full with info you dont feel.
but i can take this. comeonn.
and i made guo tie today- like dumplings?
cool right? =) and i actually perspired rolling the dough.
and today i made a new friend at a bus stop.
and i m gonna watch chariots of fire and drink green tea!

mm.
i love being so random sometimes. =)

and im a composer now! bliss. ^^

meet me at the stroke of midnight.

i want to prove you wrong.

markmywords.

and so,
thus ends one weeks worth of mass lectures.
muahahahs good riddance.

oh manns-
and now the real work begins!
and just what is my problem with chemistry!?

i love chemistry.
i love chemistry like crazy.
i love chemistry like crazy till i wanna measure
it all in cute little energy level diagrams, right down to its
last attractive ionization energy and electronic config.

come, how do i love thee?
let me count thy ways-

1s2, 2s2, 2p6,3s2,3p6, and -aha!- 4s2!, 3d1...
hahahahhahas ^^

i need my oxidising agent. fast.
i dont want to be reduced!

think i better stop before i try chemical bonding now ^^

IwanttohavechemistrywithGod. =)

have you ever read the lyrics of
ilovebigbuttsandicannotlie?

please dont. =)
hahahahahas

been laughing so much these past few days
i m surprised my oesophagus doesnt get all
choked at the force of those 'hahas' ^^
i m serious!
chen, you re really funny girl!!
and yes, e'ng and lan'n, you guys just
make my day lots brighter ^^
(purposely left out the [li]s hahahas)
the four [li]'s from 0 four! super cyute la. =)

oh yeass-
just love my za bo clique from 04 manns
we can extend from four to almost
alll the girls in our class, which rawks. =)
cuz then it doesnt feel like a clique at all-
feels like everybody just hangs out tog.

and yes,
we re all chio bus!! muahahahs ^^
now i realise, when you get to know a person
closer, you can see their beauty a lot better too.

one more day till i break my three day fast.
so soon? =)

i ve got eyes.
let me see good.

i ve got ears.
let me hear good.

i ve got a mouth.
let me speak good.

i ve got a mind.
let me think good.

i ve got a heart.
let me know Go(o)d. ^^


/see no evil.
hear no evil.
speak no evil./

mmm..
sabbath day rawks mann ^^

but on an entirely different note,
help!!
iknowsomevodywhosgonnahearthis =)
rather nervous abt tom, what with the
new class, timetables and all-
and whats more, since i didnt make it to
the jc level camp, i have absolutely no clue
abt the people in my class or anything!! ohnoo-
thankgodsylwillbeinthesamepredicament ^^

fingers crossed, Lord!
will pray mega-hard for the
1. new premises of dear HoGc!! comeon!-
2. tomorrow.
3. to do everything for God, and with his strength
4. a la passion for everything i put my mind to
5. special people in my life
(which might just be you! ^^)

yeaass i m finally back from a
gastronomical tour of ipoh, malaysia!
its been fantastic mann, but to put it simply:

there s no place like home! ^^

quoted;/
dorothy from wizard of oz.

she s reached the highest echelons of power.
such a long way up-
but so much more, a long way down.
esconced in her world of parallel delight.
shes finally broken free of her brittle shell-
and taken flight.

and unfortunately yes i m feeling emo again
becuase i just found out i ve been posted to
my new class in ny, 0704!
BCME, h1 econs.
the four new subjects that will engage and
mentor me for the next two years, and
irrevocably alter the course of my life and career.

awesome. ^^

but still, i ll miss my ex-class, 0708! haiz.
God, you have to help me out here please-
i know everything s possible through You. ^^

just watched music and lyrics (movie)
and it rawks! ^^
loved the passionate songs
the great actors and actresses employed
and the subtle wit and cool british accent
of alex fletcher (character of hugh grant),
although the plot needed more work =)
i mean- would you hire a temporary maid just
to water your plants?
and would she look like drew barrymore?

i dont think so.

oh yes, and God is Amazing! ^^
to leave out the gritty details, i had an
argument with my parents today-
but in less than twenty minutes,
i had wrote to God abt it, prayed hard
and calmed down enough to apologize
to them for my breakdown from stress,
and to wish them a good day!

surreal.
i could have been in a self-induced depression
all day and be all: go fly kite la!!~
*note: simplifed and censored cursing
but no, God pulled me through and i feel lots
better, and i ve become wiser and stronger from this!
i wanna be a wonderful testimony for Christ-
noiwontbackdownorgiveupthisfight. =)

i will impact, not be impacted/
i will influence, not be influenced/
i will change, not be changed/.

guess what?
things arent alwayswhattheyseem.


realised that today when i was baking a chocolate cake-
but wait, it doesnt use chocolate at all!! *gasps
hahahahas
guess it should be called the cocoa-powder cake then! ^^
good thing i have such a honed nose for burnt smells
*result of the fatal aroma of my last baking disaster-
cuz the recipe is a fake! i only baked it for 35 mins,
not 45! although the inside was sorta sweet and moist
and the outside, according to my dad... crispy =P
hahahahas

and now i shall turn off the com and anticipate my
peaceful cardiac arrest from four hours of tuition.

God save me.

the MARCH HOLIDAYS ARE HEREE!!!
come to think about it, time really flies when
you re having fun =) hahahahas
i mean, these two months and a half would
have been a good FIVE in sec. school! woahhs-
guess einstein was right abt his space-
continumm relative time hypothesis then! ^^

my head s filled with lotsa random thoughts now-
its bizarre how the human mind can control the
speed of charged neurons in the grey matter- but
right, enough abt the nervous system!- here goes

kh- can only hope you d find your silver lining soon.
ny isnt like nj, but tts not a bad thing either =)
hey, you can look down on me all you want, so long
as i wont look down on myself ^^
fasting- i really believe in it now.
if life is all abt making decisions, then why should
looking back be an option?
laughed insanely today, thanks to
nelson and his all about body language! oh goodness-
and cg!, was reduced to laughing convulsions mann. ^^
i love mychurch.myzone.myteam. =) i loveGod.
and i wanna love with a real godly love!
no, not like i lurvvx eeEEuuxx (please no) but like,
a really deep and sincere love for people and Christ!
thank you Lord for being with me today, in my piano
lessons, cg worship, and school, and many many more!
Get behind me Satan, for you are not mindful of the
things of God, but the things of men!
did you really think that i would be intimidated??
well maybe i was, but i ve got God!!! =) nyahahahas
and with him i fear none! ^^
got my hands on the new and old ny school uniform
today! sure its brown and dull, but i think it brings out
my supposed mocha-caramel tan! =)
(one too many starbucks as you can see)
anddd
dont frown, cuz
you never know who s falling in love with your smile. ^^

randomness.

i m missing the last piece of the puzzle.

canyouhelpmefindit?

i m so sorry.
i d have loved to help you, and yet i didnt.
whywhywhywhywhyy-\

dear Lord, just wanna dedicate this post to
every speciall person in my life today-
if any of you lucky ones reading this have
somehow felt something different today-
now you ll know why =)

My prayer to YOU.

i said a prayer for you today,

and know God must have heard,

i felt the answer in my heart,

although He spoke no word.

i asked that He be near you,

at the start of each new day,

to grant you health and blessings,

and friends to guide the way.

i asked for happiness for you,

in all things great and small,

but it was for His loving care,

i prayed the most of all.

never imagined that it would feel so hard.
[CAUTION: emo state usually means emo poetry-]

And;
so this is what it feels like
when its all been planned and done
so this is what it feels like-
the taste of forbidden want.

whydoyouthinkitsimpossible?

oh you should have seen me a while ago;
actually holed myself up in my room listening
to nothing but the smooth allure of westlife;
and trying not to feel so stupidly miserable.
astonishing. had no idea i could be so emo-

but (pea)nuts to that, cuz i was!!

spent my supposed last day in ny,
ironically (not) in ny; but hanging out with a
good majority of CT'08 as young delinquents
[probably cuz we missed a good deal of school]
in j8 for lunch and a movie! =)
ahh, the promise of unbridled teenage frivolity-
before being chained to the heavy shackles of
exhaustive and demanding tertiary eductaion!
[naturally, i was tempted!]

had a great time today-
talked to basically all of my fellow classmates
today, and they all really
left a wonderful impression on me!
will try to describe the more memorable moments
mmm
when we played taiti after a loong repreive =)
when i saw every (scandalous) photo on yc s handphone ^^
and heard his piano playing, and it *rawrs-
sounds really good! (oh goodness, he just
jumped from grade 5 to 8, and he s playing like a pro!)
the times where we could spent a good ten minutes
talking abt just where to go =)
getting back my incorrigible test results =P
(i shall have to mug harder and smarter!)
when we had lunch, and i still dont see whats
so funny about a plate full of fries for lunch-
though it was really amusing when zy's face got red
from laughing so hard hehs-
then watching the movie, and spending a good half
of the time watching dj's hand reach for yh's hp =)
and the pursuit of happyness rawks! ^^ a lil on the
boring side, yes,
but still deeply touching and inspirational!
after that, walked around a little bit,
talked abt things to do, though sadly-
our plans came to naught as we bid each other farewell
at the juxtapose of the different platforms at the mrt!
thought: if today could be a part of a chapter of my life,
it would be written under: memories!

wonder whatever came of my impromptu present ^^
[hey man, if you re reading this, tell the rest my blog
alright! ^^]

Praise the Lord for He made this special day
wonderfully memorable,
worthy as it is spent in the presence of great friends
and that it now has left me with amazing memories =)
for;
God is in control.

am just back from five hours of math tuition, piano
and two hours of (School of Worship) Open House-
but- i have officially signed up for acoustic guitar and
composing (with alvaro sanchez-) s.o.w. lessons!
whees- ^^
quote; it (guitar) is only a musical instrument, the main
instrument is YOU.
/- alvaro sanchez, famous musician extraordinare.
and, i m gonna compose music!! this is awesome!! =)

HAVE FAITH. i.am.a.composer! ^^
not by going around obstacles, but THROUGH them.

every night;
i d be at my secret place-
and every time;
you d bring me to that special space-
[oh yes, Hes my Creator!] ^^

dreamsarewhatmakesusfeel alive. imgoingtodreamlandnow!
hahahahahahas =)

i just knew something bad would happen today! rawrs-
no wonder i couldnt stop praying that [God would
be with me] throughout this supposed disaster hehs

sadly, i spent TWO hours in an educational institution
i should have spent SIX hours in. and why?

i snapped my specs in TWO. tsk tsk.

cant say those two hours were a total waste though =)
i (ahems) finally walked an entire round about a
stadium-sized track in the early morning! ^^ yeass
[have fulfilled a secret dream at last]
am thankful to my bus partner yc for this! =)
found out that besides the myriad of talents he already
possessed, he still has a survivor 2 in swimming
(nooo tts two ranks above my gold star!!)
talked alot, before heading out for basketball with
yc, joey and her friend!
now in my defense, i must mention i havent played
basketball except for four times in my entire life
(i m serious!) and in all truth, i cant shoot for nuts!

tt explains my playing alot. =P
then more guys came and we began to play a match!
(nooo my bball inadequacies are even more greatly
highlighted!!) 2 girls. 6 guys. 1 ball.
hmm they were really impressive though- can
witness since all i did was stare. and pass the ball.
and stare somemore hahahahhas =)

then after morning assembly, the last thing i remember
was twisting my frames, and seeing the twisted
metal scraps in my hand. uh-oh.

then my world dissolved into insoluble viscosity,
peppered with blurry figures and shapeless forms.

thank you Lord for the modern optical shoppe-
which restored my vision by twelve o clock ^^
and for being with me in the span of time during
the times of my myopic vulnerability =)

Ask; and you shall receive
Seek; and you shall find
Knock; and it shall be opened

Lord, if you d let every day of my life be as
fruitful and memorable as the past few days-

i d fast the half-day-daniel-fruitsnveg!-fast

FOR LIFE.
its strangely unexplicable.

i really cant seem to remember if anything bad
actually happened for the past three days,
well, besides the petrifying blemish (ok pimple!!)
on the side of my nose =)

let me try to describle it-
the drawbacks:
your stomach growls. regularly.
you crave meat. even if its the bak chor mee from
the noodle stall, its starting to look like din tai fung.
you find yourself doing all sorts of things
to occupy ur mind instead of thinking abt eating!

the overwhelming benefits:
you re a lot more energetic. and alert. (gosh!)
you can focus on ur studies!
things seem to go right for you (most of the time ^^)
you start to pray. more and more =)
you get to appreciate lots of things that you have.

for example, playing dodgeball twice without sweating!

and did i mention you feel (and become)
slimmer?
trimmer?
fitter? gosh-darnit-thinner? ^^

GOD I LOVE YOU.